So it's been over a year since I've posted anything and a lot has changed, especially me, but despite the time that's passed never have I felt more of a wanderer. So with respect to everything this blog was supposed to be about, I think it's time to end my writing hiatus.
The me that is returning is now 21, 22 by next week, works at a local restaurant, has been through happiness and heartaches, graduated from college, and is now looking for a career. Hence, the wandering. While this freedom is refreshing considering the school, work, and extra-curricular load I had over my college years, it's also incredibly frustrating. I balance on the brink of relaxation and laziness. Days I don't work I should be looking for work, too bad looking for work is a soul sucking activity that leaves me seeking relaxation. This cycle often leads to procrastination, avoidance, and sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Which I both enjoy and hate.
I am at a point in my life where I am transitioning from school life to real life. And I'm perfectly aware that once real life begins, it's never going to end. (For those that need explanation, real life = career) I've talked to enough young professionals and veterans to know that once it begins you never stop. So this is what I face, no career = no money, no insurance, no retirement, no future fulfillment OR career = lifelong battle to balance work, family, friends, and social life.
I also face the ever differing opinions of people on what job I should consider to launch my career. Many say to just grab anything, something. No matter if the salary is lower than desired or expected from my background and education, no matter if it's in an area I have no interest in at all. Take it cause it pays the bills. Then there's my opinion, which BTW is slowly but surely loosing my conviction. I don't wanna settle for just anything. Am I being picky? I don't want a sales job masked as a marketing job. I don't want some job that pays less than industry average especially since I feel that I've been working to get a good job since year one of college. I don't want some job that I tell myself every day that I'll get out as soon as I find something else and am in very real danger of never leaving since once you're in, it's hard to back out especially if you have commitments and responsibilities.
I think I have a very real passion and determination that could carry me in work that challenges me. Yet, despite all that no number of carefully crafted and personalized cover letters seems to be working. Yes, I know I know, it's all about networking. Maybe eventually that will help me out. It's just real damn hard to stay optimistic.
Every day is limbo. It's am I happy, am I unhappy? It's am I doing enough, or should I be doing less? Should I be enjoying this time, or working harder? All questions that can not only be applied to my work life, but my romantic life as well. UGHHH.
If this is being in an grown up, it's exhausting. Yah, you're an adult at 18, but being a grown up? The idea leaves me wary. Maybe I just have Peter Pan syndrome. Maybe, I'm just lazy, or too picky, or over-thinking life in general.
Regardless, I'm wandering again. Wander with me?
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Friday, December 17, 2010
Coming home...
In the last hours before I head to the airport I am ready to go home. Never have I been more ready. This trip has been fantastic and if I wanted to grow and learn, I have. I have lived the reverse of my life back home. Was it good? For the most part yes. Never again will I have the freedom that I have had here, but I don't want it again. I need structure. I need balance. I need home. I have missed my family and friends constantly and I am so glad that I have made friends out here whom I would have never encountered had I not gone on this trip. I have proven that I can live and travel on my own and a level of patience I did not know I possessed. Sure I won't be able to jet off to Spain or France for the weekend, but I realized something thinking back tonight. Other than a few rare moments never was I so completely swept off my feet that I did not remember Chicago. I did not know I could love a city so much. I've dreamt of it and am ready for my return. Let's hope it's a safe flight and I get to see all my loved ones soon.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Ocho Dias!!!!
So it's been a month since I last posted and yah I promised something on Italy and you know what I never finished it. I don't even really feel like finishing it. Maybe I'll get around to it. Hell, I went to Spain, don't really feel like writing about that either. Not that it was unmemorable, there's just a lot to say and I don't really feel like writing about it in a blog. I wrote about it and Italy on paper because like I said before, I write best when my emotions run high and if I wrote here what I wrote on paper there are sure to be lots of expletives, things people don't want hear, things that I find embarrassing, and on paper I'm far too honest for the internet. If you really want to know about it all ask me about it sometime. I'll be glad to tell you face to face, maybe even grab some coffee, in Chicago. Beloved beloved Chicago.
EIGHT DAYS!!!
Today, tomorrow, Sunday = Studying, studying, and more studying
Monday = History of Civilizations Final and some more studying
Tuesday = History of Modern Europe Final and possibly Hungarian Final
Wednesday = Hungarian Final if I don't take it Tuesday and one last gigantic night out
Thursday = Studying
Friday = HUMONGOUS Tourism Management Midterm and Final combined (gross...)
Saturday = HOME!!!!!
I. can. not. wait. Despite being sick, I am having a delightful day and the positive energy is just oozing out of me. So I couldn't find the lighter to boil water this morning? I made ramen using my water heater for tea and coffee. So I spilled and burned my hand? I danced it off listening to "Valerie" by Amy Winehouse. So the lid I put on top of the hot water and ramen to cook stuck when I picked it and spilled on the floor? I danced in that puddle too and then I cleaned it up! Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to get me down (other maybe a major accident or shocking news, but other than that...nada). You know why I'm in such a good mood? Cause in precisely 8 little days I will once again be hugging my family and raining kisses all over my dogs face, laughing til I cry with my best friends while making up ridiculous dance moves that should not be done in public, and eating all the food I've missed these past 3 1/2 months.
Other than my ridiculous overflow of excitement that I mean to last me all throughout finals, topic of the day that ties into my whole positive energy thing: Why can't some people go with the freakin flow?? In my time here I have noticed more and more that there are people in this world that cannot, absolutely cannot, just deal with what life gives them. They just seem to steep themselves in negativity, pessimism, and wallow in their own misery. Sure things happen that are hard to deal with and it takes some time to get over it, but there's always a rational amount of time for things. I also understand that sometimes we're all not rational, but for the most part I like to think people are. Maybe we need a push from a sister or a friend, but that's what family and friends are for. Usually you fall, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward. Here I've seen people fall, drag themselves around in the dirt for awhile, hobble up, and limp off. It's not a pleasant sight. Actually it's incredibly depressing and half the time I want to slap a DEBBIE DOWNER sticker on their foreheads and make them walk around with it for the day like an embarrassing dunce cap so they can see how foolish they are being.
What is the point in taking everything so seriously? What is the point in dwelling on things you can't change instead of the things that you can? It just doesn't make sense to me. If there's one lesson that my grandmother taught me well is that positive energy is key. Put it out in the universe and it'll come back to you. Sounds like bull to some people, well you know I say to you, check your forehead for a Debbie Downer sticker. Being positive sometimes can be a struggle but it's better than being sad or mad or frustrated. It helps you move forward. It helps you be happy. SMILE.
I could go on about this for days. Basically, shit happens. Whatever you're dealing with, someone out there is dealing with something ten times worse. So please, pretty please, try to pick yourself up again.
Suggestion: Dance to "Valerie" by yourself. It's fun!
EIGHT DAYS!!!
Today, tomorrow, Sunday = Studying, studying, and more studying
Monday = History of Civilizations Final and some more studying
Tuesday = History of Modern Europe Final and possibly Hungarian Final
Wednesday = Hungarian Final if I don't take it Tuesday and one last gigantic night out
Thursday = Studying
Friday = HUMONGOUS Tourism Management Midterm and Final combined (gross...)
Saturday = HOME!!!!!
I. can. not. wait. Despite being sick, I am having a delightful day and the positive energy is just oozing out of me. So I couldn't find the lighter to boil water this morning? I made ramen using my water heater for tea and coffee. So I spilled and burned my hand? I danced it off listening to "Valerie" by Amy Winehouse. So the lid I put on top of the hot water and ramen to cook stuck when I picked it and spilled on the floor? I danced in that puddle too and then I cleaned it up! Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to get me down (other maybe a major accident or shocking news, but other than that...nada). You know why I'm in such a good mood? Cause in precisely 8 little days I will once again be hugging my family and raining kisses all over my dogs face, laughing til I cry with my best friends while making up ridiculous dance moves that should not be done in public, and eating all the food I've missed these past 3 1/2 months.
Other than my ridiculous overflow of excitement that I mean to last me all throughout finals, topic of the day that ties into my whole positive energy thing: Why can't some people go with the freakin flow?? In my time here I have noticed more and more that there are people in this world that cannot, absolutely cannot, just deal with what life gives them. They just seem to steep themselves in negativity, pessimism, and wallow in their own misery. Sure things happen that are hard to deal with and it takes some time to get over it, but there's always a rational amount of time for things. I also understand that sometimes we're all not rational, but for the most part I like to think people are. Maybe we need a push from a sister or a friend, but that's what family and friends are for. Usually you fall, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward. Here I've seen people fall, drag themselves around in the dirt for awhile, hobble up, and limp off. It's not a pleasant sight. Actually it's incredibly depressing and half the time I want to slap a DEBBIE DOWNER sticker on their foreheads and make them walk around with it for the day like an embarrassing dunce cap so they can see how foolish they are being.
What is the point in taking everything so seriously? What is the point in dwelling on things you can't change instead of the things that you can? It just doesn't make sense to me. If there's one lesson that my grandmother taught me well is that positive energy is key. Put it out in the universe and it'll come back to you. Sounds like bull to some people, well you know I say to you, check your forehead for a Debbie Downer sticker. Being positive sometimes can be a struggle but it's better than being sad or mad or frustrated. It helps you move forward. It helps you be happy. SMILE.
I could go on about this for days. Basically, shit happens. Whatever you're dealing with, someone out there is dealing with something ten times worse. So please, pretty please, try to pick yourself up again.
Suggestion: Dance to "Valerie" by yourself. It's fun!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Case of the Reds
So before I tell you all about Italy, which yes yes I'm getting around to and I've already started writing, I would like to write about how this day is crap. It's crap not cause I lost my cell phone, broke my computer or something significant, it's crap because I have zero motivation and cause I'm dwelling on depressing ideas.
I called off all my meetings with friends this morning, I decided not to go to class, opted to do a presentation alone, and my apartment is failing. Called off the meetings cause I stayed up until 5am, and I do realize this is not a smart decision. I decided not to go to class cause I didn't want to deal with the anxiety that comes with public speaking which is required every class. I opted to do the presentation alone cause I didn't speak to the students that I would do it with since they also give me massive anxiety. My apartment has no working washing machine, so clothes are getting dirty, it smells all over the place cause they dried while soaked and dirty, and I woke up this morning and there is no running water anywhere. Lovely. I'm not too happy with my landlord.
In retrospect yes it's one bad decision after one bad decision, but you know what I'm having a mood. I'm allowed to have moods. I stayed up until 5am because I wanted to talk to my family, the family I won't see for Thanksgiving, who I might not see next Thanksgiving, and who might be absent this Easter. Not to mention my favorite commercial holiday, Black Friday is slowly dying without the dynamic duo of my sister and I. As I like to call it (and Audrey Hepburn does too) I've got a bad case of the reds. I'm sad and I have no reason why. Well I know why, but I don't see them as legitimate reasons to be sad or put myself in a rut like I am.
The thing is, for the first time in a long time I felt creative again yesterday. I channeled thoughts and emotions. I dwelled on ideas. Maybe not happy ideas because honestly I write the best on emotions of frustration, pain, and fear, but yesterday I made poetry. I wrote again. Not just poetry but I did a paper for a class that's due two weeks from now and I think the introduction is fantastic. My mind opened up again. Which in this case probably wasn't the best idea since all my ideas and thoughts from the experiences of the day reverted me back to questions about life, success, and happiness, but just being able to think made me overjoyed.
This idea or question was, at what point do we become complacent and turn into the people we swore we would never be? I've noticed a trend. As we start to get older, we start to settle more. Our imaginations die and our creativity becomes stalled (hence my surprise at the burst that I had yesterday). Life becomes day after day blending in and brightened up by only those we find most dear. We find comfort and laughter in the everyday because the everyday starts to be all there is. We get up. Go to work. Pick up the kids. Come home and make dinner. Sleep. Do it all over again. Don't tell me I'm wrong. Don't tell me you don't see the monotony that comes from a normal stable life. Yet, it's what we all strive for. It's the illusive American dream. Why do you think companies look for younger more innovative professionals? Cause they haven't died inside yet. (I know I'm being dramatic.) Why do you think everyone reminisces about their pasts? Cause we all are looking for something we don't have now.
So yes, this day is crap. It's crap cause I have a case of the reds and it's incredibly depressing and non motivating. I'll most like sit on this couch that is my bed until class at 4:30pm. Maybe I'll even eat. If the apartment gods shine on me maybe they'll give me some water to wash my face. Today, I just don't care.
I called off all my meetings with friends this morning, I decided not to go to class, opted to do a presentation alone, and my apartment is failing. Called off the meetings cause I stayed up until 5am, and I do realize this is not a smart decision. I decided not to go to class cause I didn't want to deal with the anxiety that comes with public speaking which is required every class. I opted to do the presentation alone cause I didn't speak to the students that I would do it with since they also give me massive anxiety. My apartment has no working washing machine, so clothes are getting dirty, it smells all over the place cause they dried while soaked and dirty, and I woke up this morning and there is no running water anywhere. Lovely. I'm not too happy with my landlord.
In retrospect yes it's one bad decision after one bad decision, but you know what I'm having a mood. I'm allowed to have moods. I stayed up until 5am because I wanted to talk to my family, the family I won't see for Thanksgiving, who I might not see next Thanksgiving, and who might be absent this Easter. Not to mention my favorite commercial holiday, Black Friday is slowly dying without the dynamic duo of my sister and I. As I like to call it (and Audrey Hepburn does too) I've got a bad case of the reds. I'm sad and I have no reason why. Well I know why, but I don't see them as legitimate reasons to be sad or put myself in a rut like I am.
The thing is, for the first time in a long time I felt creative again yesterday. I channeled thoughts and emotions. I dwelled on ideas. Maybe not happy ideas because honestly I write the best on emotions of frustration, pain, and fear, but yesterday I made poetry. I wrote again. Not just poetry but I did a paper for a class that's due two weeks from now and I think the introduction is fantastic. My mind opened up again. Which in this case probably wasn't the best idea since all my ideas and thoughts from the experiences of the day reverted me back to questions about life, success, and happiness, but just being able to think made me overjoyed.
This idea or question was, at what point do we become complacent and turn into the people we swore we would never be? I've noticed a trend. As we start to get older, we start to settle more. Our imaginations die and our creativity becomes stalled (hence my surprise at the burst that I had yesterday). Life becomes day after day blending in and brightened up by only those we find most dear. We find comfort and laughter in the everyday because the everyday starts to be all there is. We get up. Go to work. Pick up the kids. Come home and make dinner. Sleep. Do it all over again. Don't tell me I'm wrong. Don't tell me you don't see the monotony that comes from a normal stable life. Yet, it's what we all strive for. It's the illusive American dream. Why do you think companies look for younger more innovative professionals? Cause they haven't died inside yet. (I know I'm being dramatic.) Why do you think everyone reminisces about their pasts? Cause we all are looking for something we don't have now.
So yes, this day is crap. It's crap cause I have a case of the reds and it's incredibly depressing and non motivating. I'll most like sit on this couch that is my bed until class at 4:30pm. Maybe I'll even eat. If the apartment gods shine on me maybe they'll give me some water to wash my face. Today, I just don't care.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Paris Holds the Key to Your Heart! (Name that movie!)
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| Arc de Triomphe at night |
Bonjour! So this past weekend I went to Paris and it was amazing. Ran into a few bumps but overall the trip was great. Getting there was a bit of an issue due to the striking and rioting in Paris, but hey, I made it there and I made it back to Budapest. All is well.So first of all, went out the night before my extremely long train ride and it was a terrible idea. I was extremely slow the next day and my head hurt, my stomach hurt, and my whole body basically hurt. It blew. It really really blew. At one point I was so upset I just wanted to sit down and cry. Luckily, being the trooper that I am (and after a phone call to my best friend back in the states who was gracious enough to answer the phone at 5am), I got to the station and got onto my train. It was different than I thought it was going to be. I was expecting a train like all my others and this one was a Rail Jet. The seats were really comfy and it was modern and pretty. The facilities were nice and there was a food cart that came around every so often. I was being spoiled, cause the train from Munich to Paris not as nice. I hardly slept and that's when I ran into some problems. Apparently they couldn't get us into the station because of rioters and we had to stop in Mannheim, Germany at 3am to take buses that were going to take us in "the direction" of Paris. The bus driver also warned us that people might try to stop the bus, but not to panic. It was slightly frightening. Turns out we got dropped off at Disney Paris and although it's supposed to be the happiest place on earth it was covered in armed guards that were in full military dress, berets, and big guns. I also got lost after I figured out the metro and had to call a cab to take me to the hotel and later I found out he totally jipped me. But why dwell on that when I was in Paris?!
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| Armed Guards at the Louvre just like the ones at Disney |
Unfortunately, Paris is also very expensive. It definitely made me a little bit more broke and it didn't help that I wanted to buy something for everyone. I did get a lot of Christmas shopping done though. Although, an elaborate meal was too expensive I still had my cheese plate (which I was most excited for), real french onion soup, fresh pastries in the morning, and delicious nutella and banana crepes.Next stop is Rome and Venice. Let's hope I don't buy up a storm there too.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Midterms!
So it's almost 11pm and I have my first midterm at 8am tomorrow morning. As usual I'm cramming some more the night before and that's fine cause I think I'm overstudying for this history midterm. None the less it's stressful and I'm using midterms as an excuse to eat anything and everything to get me through. Is it ridiculous that I cooked myself a steak for breakfast? Maybe, but I did it. I also made myself some steak and mushrooms for lunch and had a grilled cheese with dried mangoes and flaming hot cheetos for dinner. Not to mention I've been eating Kinder bars in between it all. I'm almost positive that I'm just a giant optical illusion.
Other than studying for the past couple days I've pretty much been a big bum. I've watched more T.V. here than I do at home in the States. I'm fully caught up with Dexter, Weeds, and Glee. Not only that but I'm also on season 2 of Entourage and have 5 more to go which I plan to finish in the next week or two. I've also completely changed my sleeping cycle. Except for Mondays I usually sleep until 11am and go to bed around 4 or 5am. So I basically live at night. Which is fine with me.
Last night Misia and I went and explored the city since it was remembrance day of the the Hungarian revolution. We really only saw a band performing at Parliament and some stalls selling food. We probably went too late, but the views of Buda and the Danube were pretty. Every time I look at it though in the back of my head I still think "It's not as pretty as the Chicago skyline." Many of my classmates disagree with me. I just love Chicago too much.
I'll be in Paris this weekend and I leave on Halloween to come back to Budapest. It's kind of a bummer having to leave on Halloween, but I can't miss my Monday 8am. France is also on strike and there are riots everywhere. I'm a bit nervous about this weekend. I hope it's still a lot of fun and it's safe. I'm sure that no matter what "Paris Holds the Key" from Anastasia is still going to be stuck in my head the entire trip. I'm weird like that.
Well wish me luck on midterms and pray that I stay safe in Paris!
Other than studying for the past couple days I've pretty much been a big bum. I've watched more T.V. here than I do at home in the States. I'm fully caught up with Dexter, Weeds, and Glee. Not only that but I'm also on season 2 of Entourage and have 5 more to go which I plan to finish in the next week or two. I've also completely changed my sleeping cycle. Except for Mondays I usually sleep until 11am and go to bed around 4 or 5am. So I basically live at night. Which is fine with me.
Last night Misia and I went and explored the city since it was remembrance day of the the Hungarian revolution. We really only saw a band performing at Parliament and some stalls selling food. We probably went too late, but the views of Buda and the Danube were pretty. Every time I look at it though in the back of my head I still think "It's not as pretty as the Chicago skyline." Many of my classmates disagree with me. I just love Chicago too much.
I'll be in Paris this weekend and I leave on Halloween to come back to Budapest. It's kind of a bummer having to leave on Halloween, but I can't miss my Monday 8am. France is also on strike and there are riots everywhere. I'm a bit nervous about this weekend. I hope it's still a lot of fun and it's safe. I'm sure that no matter what "Paris Holds the Key" from Anastasia is still going to be stuck in my head the entire trip. I'm weird like that.
Well wish me luck on midterms and pray that I stay safe in Paris!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Being Sick Blows
Soo I've been sick for over a week now and it absolutely 100% sucks. I was getting sick before Munich and now I'm still sick before Poland. Granted I probably shouldn't have gone out for my friend Tom's birthday this past weekend, but I thought I was better. Dancing til dawn was fun and I don't regret it one bit, but boy did I screw myself over. I went from having a slight cough to a deep cough, excessive saliva, and my glands swelled up so it hurt to swallow. Wanna know how bad it was? (WARNING: THIS IS GONNA GET GROSS) It was so bad that I had to spit every couple minutes. So I couldn't sleep cause it hurt to much to swallow and spitting would keep me up. My solution? I had to hang my head off my couch (Did I forget to mention I sleep on a couch every night? It's a long story.) over a bucket and just let it overflow and drip. By far one of the most disgusting moments of my life. The next day the swelling went down and I was like "I don't need to go to the doctor." Fail. I have this thing where I think that I can take of myself all the time and as a result I didn't go to the doctor's office until today, where apparently they hand out antibiotics like candy. HURRAY! So hopefully I'll be better in a couple days and I won't be miserable in Poland this weekend.
Luckily, Misia's grandmother lives just a bus ride away from Krakow so I'll have free lodging and delicious homemade Polish food. Sadly, I hear her grandmother does not make gnocchi, my new favorite food since I've come to Budapest. I mean it's a noodle and it's potato. Two of my favorite foods combined. Not to mention it's often accompanied by a creamy cheesy based sauce. Incredibly fattening, but sooo worth it. But back to this weekend. Misia will be mostly be running around getting errands done so most of the time I'll be relaxing and I'll take a day to see Auschwitz and Krakow. Should be nice. I get to meet Misia's family and friends too. They probably won't understand me, but I hear they are very friendly.
After Poland, Misia and I would like to do Amsterdam, Brussels, then Paris on Halloween weekend. I mean if I can't be at home for my best friend's favorite holiday at least I can be in Paris. Planning is a lot more stressful than it should be. First of all we still have to think about school so our travel plans have to be based on how many classes we want to miss or who we want to travel with. Not to mention the day we want to leave for our Halloween extravaganza I have two midterms. I want to move them up, but I'm running into some issues. Then we have to work out our budgets which after some careful planning it looks like I'll be fine. Next on the list of frustrations is the fact that I bought a Eurail pass at home that I CANNOT waste. Everyone wants to take flights or buses cause they are faster and cheaper sometimes. Sure I don't have to stress about paying to get to places but it looks like some trips I'll be traveling alone. Which is not ok with my parents. Honestly, it's a little uncomfortable for me too, but I'll just have to man up and figure out how to navigate around Europe. I'm a smart girl with her mother's paranoia. I'll be cautious and I may sweat a lot from nerves, but I'll get there if it's the last thing I do. It's a $700 pass, there's no way I'm not getting my money's worth. Hopefully everything works out and if I can't do Amsterdam and Brussels at least I can do Paris. Then there's Spain and Italy to worry about. Italy is falling into place. At least I got that going for me.
Other than travel plan frustrations, there's a lot of drama out here. Somebody is annoyed with somebody or someone is trying to get on someone. It's all very frustrating. It's nothing unexpected. I mean we all knew what we were getting into going to a brand new school with brand new people. We're all adapting and while we're all try to figure out the puzzle that is life here in Budapest we're finding out that sometimes things just don't fit. There are days we don't feel like going to class, we've spent too much money, or people we thought we knew who aren't they seem to be. Just like life back at home, but when you're away from the comforts of friends and family it just hits you harder.
So whether it's physically being sick or being sick at heart it all kind of blows...for now. Hell, at least it keeps life interesting. If we were happy all the time, the little things wouldn't count. Like finding scarves for less than $5 or a surprise package in the mail. Both those things made me smile and cause I can smile at the little things I'll keep on truckin. I'll keep on keepin on with 5 liters of water, vitamin c tablets, Emergen-C, and antibiotics. If that doesn't do the trick I don't know what will.
Luckily, Misia's grandmother lives just a bus ride away from Krakow so I'll have free lodging and delicious homemade Polish food. Sadly, I hear her grandmother does not make gnocchi, my new favorite food since I've come to Budapest. I mean it's a noodle and it's potato. Two of my favorite foods combined. Not to mention it's often accompanied by a creamy cheesy based sauce. Incredibly fattening, but sooo worth it. But back to this weekend. Misia will be mostly be running around getting errands done so most of the time I'll be relaxing and I'll take a day to see Auschwitz and Krakow. Should be nice. I get to meet Misia's family and friends too. They probably won't understand me, but I hear they are very friendly.
After Poland, Misia and I would like to do Amsterdam, Brussels, then Paris on Halloween weekend. I mean if I can't be at home for my best friend's favorite holiday at least I can be in Paris. Planning is a lot more stressful than it should be. First of all we still have to think about school so our travel plans have to be based on how many classes we want to miss or who we want to travel with. Not to mention the day we want to leave for our Halloween extravaganza I have two midterms. I want to move them up, but I'm running into some issues. Then we have to work out our budgets which after some careful planning it looks like I'll be fine. Next on the list of frustrations is the fact that I bought a Eurail pass at home that I CANNOT waste. Everyone wants to take flights or buses cause they are faster and cheaper sometimes. Sure I don't have to stress about paying to get to places but it looks like some trips I'll be traveling alone. Which is not ok with my parents. Honestly, it's a little uncomfortable for me too, but I'll just have to man up and figure out how to navigate around Europe. I'm a smart girl with her mother's paranoia. I'll be cautious and I may sweat a lot from nerves, but I'll get there if it's the last thing I do. It's a $700 pass, there's no way I'm not getting my money's worth. Hopefully everything works out and if I can't do Amsterdam and Brussels at least I can do Paris. Then there's Spain and Italy to worry about. Italy is falling into place. At least I got that going for me.
Other than travel plan frustrations, there's a lot of drama out here. Somebody is annoyed with somebody or someone is trying to get on someone. It's all very frustrating. It's nothing unexpected. I mean we all knew what we were getting into going to a brand new school with brand new people. We're all adapting and while we're all try to figure out the puzzle that is life here in Budapest we're finding out that sometimes things just don't fit. There are days we don't feel like going to class, we've spent too much money, or people we thought we knew who aren't they seem to be. Just like life back at home, but when you're away from the comforts of friends and family it just hits you harder.
So whether it's physically being sick or being sick at heart it all kind of blows...for now. Hell, at least it keeps life interesting. If we were happy all the time, the little things wouldn't count. Like finding scarves for less than $5 or a surprise package in the mail. Both those things made me smile and cause I can smile at the little things I'll keep on truckin. I'll keep on keepin on with 5 liters of water, vitamin c tablets, Emergen-C, and antibiotics. If that doesn't do the trick I don't know what will.
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